This year, I’m gna make changes………

To myself.

BYE!!

Finally I found the exact moment, the exact time.

Yes o’s results is out… Was out.. I didn’t get less than 15 I didn’t get more than 20. I’m not gna reveal here. It wasn’t that bad as I thought it would be. Straight b’s and a few c’s. Good huh? Better than my school report book. HAHA what I’m upset of is my chemistry. The best science sub is my worse subject reflected. Fuck man. Don’t know how to face mdm tan. Secondly is humans.. I thought A is not far away.. But in fact it actually is. Damn. Then again.. Be contented with what I have

NEW YEAR RESOLUTION 2012!! here goes..

1) lose weight
2) be positive
3) go overseas with friends
4) get a job in zoo
5) get a laptop
6) sell/ give away my clothes
7) get on friend’s bike
8) YOUR house visit
9) pri sch/ sec sch/ kindergarten Gathering
10) more cheap deals

Well maybe this is to be continued kind but I hope it doesn’t… This list… Sounds like a dare -.- I’m daring myself… Aha!

Anyway has anyone who is reading my wordpress ever wonder who will still be here for you besides your family or your Boyf/girlf ? To cut the list narrower: friends.
Ever since I started working, i seldom get the chance to play with them or even roam the streets. Once in a while for dinner, yes. Plus I don’t work on weekends.

I’m starting to be afraid of losing them. Afraid that there will be awkwardness between us. Afraid that sooner or later we will have zero topics to talk about. I can sense it already. Because all I ever talked about is about my work. My work and still my work! Hahaha FML. I’m too tied down by my work. -.- but it’s okay contract is gna end soon..

I don’t Wna commit anymore. I don’t like getting tied down. FOR WORK I MEAN. HAHAHAHA Toodles and
HAPPY CNY!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

New year, new start right? Yes.

And yes, results releasing in two- three days. Holy Shizz I don’t think I’ll be able to get less than 15. Mama stress
Im gna give myself less than 20 perhaps? Really.. All the deities are telling me nothing good.. First it’s a down lot then it’s a bad number 42..
Followed by right upper eyelid twitch..
Really? This year is not a good year for me? I don’t think it should be! Yea should be!!

Sidetrack.. Perhaps I’m being a nice person for way tooooo longgg.. I can’t lie anymore.. I mean even if I were to, the guilt will be there for… Hours? Or is just the scaredy cat within me? WHICH JASMINE IS THIS!??!

And yes, I really think I should stop all the confession thing.. Not bgr FYI…
Like yes, the more I think of it the more childish I think I am.. Yea, you should… Either stay or leave. No in betweens. Too sick of the in betweens feeling.

Lastly, YOU!
Y ARE YOU STILL SO SMALL KID AFTER SO LONG? Sighh For just once, I want to hear something good about you. Something that will make me go “&$(:-:$&@ all over again. HAVE FAITH, remember?

ME, STOP WORRYING FOR RESULTS! WHAT DONE IS DONE, it cannot be undone. Whatever future I belongs to, it was all set. You’re just playing the game, acting the role. Nothing else. Worse come to worse, private or ite. ONLY AT ITS WORSE!

NIGHTS ALL

Holidays now. Yes o’s is over after…3/4weeks
Grad night is over.
Class chalet is over.
Red camp is over.
Now job.
It’s not as fun as I thought it would be.. Okay partially.
Working means you are alone. Always alone. Forever alone. Let alone you are working in an industry where everyone is above 20 and you are the youngest.
Yes that is what I call lonely. All I can look forward to is weekends. Being with friends. The funs, the laughters and not forgetting the joy of each other’s accompaniment. My partner, who has been in the industry for more than a year… IS SUPER QUIET!
Well but still, I have to stick with her because she is my only partner.. Besides its just a few months or days.. Yes yes.

On the other hand, there’s a lot to remember. The things I have to do, the things that are placed at and also! The calling of people. Well people not as in librarians etc no. But directors, presidents, ministers. Yes. I AM NERVOUS! Very nervous! I hope I can cope.. Because the list is super duper long.

Sidetrack abit.. Readers, if you have a friend who has been bickering with you and etc but you both patch things up in the end. Don’t let go of each other. No matter how much you can’t tolerate. Don’t. Let. Go. Because he/she is the only person who can tolerate your sucky behavior that not many can tolerate.

Lastly… I really hate, loathe, dislike the..
Abdefghijklmnoqstuv
Figure out yourself

I know it’s 111111.
So I’ve scheduled this post to the timing.(a minute earlier) Well I hope it doesn’t jam.
Hehehe also it’s a hint or.. Whatever that it’s going to be 1311 soooon!
NYEHEHEHEH I can’t take surprises I really can’t. My heart will leap and my face will blush. This happens all the time when something unexpected happens.
Usually I won’t be excited for my birthday. Because I know there is going to be a celebration going on. Then again, when? I’m taking o’s the next day.. Can’t possibly be on the day itself? Well maybe or maybe the day after o’s. See this is the suspension I detest the most. NYEHEHEHEH

And 111111, truth is. It won’t be special. Everyday is a special day to me. New feelings, new updates, new happenings, new news…. Hahah so many unexpected surprise. So why wait till 111111 for this to happen? Prolly is because of the date, the time whatever.

Let’s sidetrack a bit, if 1111111111 really works. I wish my for my usual 1111 wish to happen. Who knows? Maybe more 1′s give more powers?! HAHA. Kay backtrack, because the legendary 111111 doesn’t happen allllll the time. Everyone is celebrating it. No worries if you are celebrating alone. Just remember, everyday is a special day. Toodles

Happy 111111

But this two struck me hard last night.

Imagine getting blocked and ignored by your friend after 4years of not contacting. Okay so this is what I call as BEAR GRUDGES. Maybe for a minor mistake we had when we’re young leads to the consequences we have to face now. It was so heart wrenching to realize this is just how much you loathe me. Well this applies to my two friends.

Of course, what a shame. Probably this is all the sins that I have to clear. By losing someone I failed to treasure. I don’t really understand what is going on in this society. Trying to meet up with your pri school friends yet you can’t because of separate lives.

I don’t really understand what I am typing. I’m just typing aimlessly. I’ve grieved enough. I came to conscious. “people come people go. What to do?”
I just have to get used to the feeling of getting my things lost right before me.
I have to no matter how hard it is.

From the bottom of my heart, I hope both of you are happier this way. Goodbye friends

Worried worried worried.
AMATHS paper 2 was a goner. Haha
I hope I still can pass though.
CHEMISTRY paper 2… I was confident.
Till 5mins ago when octopus predicted I’ll get less than A2.
FUG! Why should I believe an octopus that is… An app?!
Yes yes I know but that is how I gain my confidence! Shucks.
I really really really wish this two won’t pull me down. Without science, I’m a goner.

For the first time, I’m fretting over my results and posting while having majors the other day. Hahah nice one jasmine.

Side track a bit… IT’S NOVEMBER BABEH!!
Which means.. Fun is nearing~! Hehehehehe eggxited!

Okay BACKTRACK!
Bless me for my papers tomorrow. And my o’s results

Xoxo

2) worried that I may not be able to make it for social studies, chemistry and physics AND AMATHS!!

3) I need to Chiong 9hours later after I enter dreamland.

4)I can’t wait for PARTEH!!

5) I think my worries are unnecessary. But I cant help it!!

6) I want food now. My fridge is empty. FOR THE FIRST TIME!!

7) I think that all miscommunication problem lies on me. Problem is me! I CANT BLARDY EXPRESS MYSELF with words. Or maybe no one really understands me?

8)18november? Okay noted. Heheheh pardon for…..yeah…

9)the thought of getting a folli follie’s watch is making me excited!! NYEHEHEHEH

10) you.

One down. Six to go. YES BABEH!
HAHAHA it’s just one! yea true -.-

Thursday, maths p1. OOOOO YEA~
Any sec4s reading my WordPress? Because if you do, I would suggest you doing Tys 2010 paper to gain some confidence.

And. Yes, twitter. This thing.. Has basically lost its meaning/purpose.
These are what I used to tweet: “Hardcore skating with gilda today is aweeesome~!”
What I tweet now:
“show me, don’t tell me”
Wait, don’t tell me my level of maturity has increased. It’s just that there is this strong urge that tells me not to tweet what I did today. At the same time, to tweet for the sake of tweeting! GAAAAAH~! I realize I have been tweeting allll my random thoughts. ALL. Yes all. They don’t mean anything at all. siansation~!

Plus, I’ve finally learnt how to… Deal with feelings. It’s either you come or you go. No more dilly dally. I am sick of that. Wna be with your the other group? Okay go. Wna come back? Okay come. Because I’m just treating people how I am being treated. Unless special circumstances, whereby y’know, I’ll make minimal efforts. Yes minimal. Then I’ll stop. HAHA strategic planning. HAHA WTS